A little me time....

I am in Farmington, NM right now. Again at my labs for school.... I have been here a few days and have quite a few more to go. It has been a nice break from the daily routine of life, but is full of other challenges too. Right now I should be studying but I became side tracked by wonderful blogs that I love to read and decided I should update my own. :) There are a few things I need to update:

Potty-training:
I have pretty much given up. Yes I have thrown in the towel on the whole process. Right now little miss Madi is having the time of her life with grandparents that love having her around.. (hopefully she doesn't wear that welcome out)... but I decided that she knows exactly what to do! She can tell me what needs to happen when one needs to go potty - so she has the comprehension. She has proved that she can do it - so she has the capability.... So the only thing lacking is the desire... How do you motivate a self-driven, strong-willed, super and i mean super independent, child..... no make that a 2.5 year old, to be motivated to go to the bathroom on the potty? Well you might be saying: a sticker chart - tried it, candy - tried it, big rewards - tried it, toys that she picked out herself - tried it, favorite activity trips (park or library) - tried it, special mommy time with stories - tried it, wrapping little surprises as rewards - tried it, decorating the bathroom one glittery star dangler at a time reward - tried it..... I could keep going, but I feel this list is sufficient. I have tried everything, well okay not everything because that would be impossible as there are a million and ten ideas BUT I have read books, and articles, and online blogs about what to do, and it's not working. So this is me admitting defeat and saying I was wrong. I cannot potty train this child. So now that I have said that I'm sure she will potty train herself and show me how big she is and what an awesome job she can do!! Ha ha  ha... But none of you can mention this new approach to her! I mean this is of course not my last attempt and try at potty training....... :)
Reverse psychology has worked on me numerous times... perhaps I could get lucky and this could work for Madi as well?? My creative bank has run dry and I'm out of options. I don't want to clean up messes for months on end. And I'm tired of changing the sheets on her bed more frequently than I feel necessary.... Many say this is the worst thing you could do, Many say I did the worst thing in trying to potty train her on my time instead of hers, Many say that you can just let them do it and you won't have to potty train them, they will do it themselves.... well I have learned that my child does not fall into any normal categories and she definitely will not let someone else define her, so this epistle is to make me feel better by justifying my actions.... So there you have it. I will not win any mom of the year awards, but I'm pretty sure those weren't coming anyways.

Going to school online has been one of the hardest challenges I have ever faced. It is hard for me, and I'm a very hands on person. I like to ask questions when I have them and with this program I have had to become more self-reliant in figuring out problems and learning on my own. I'm very grateful to my Heavenly Father for guiding me to this opportuninty and I do feel very blessed to be in this program. That being said, I will be SO HAPPY... i mean SO HAPPY .... when this is done. I will only have to come to Farmington one more time and that time will only be for 8 days! So fantastic! Then i have my internships (3) and then in November, I will have completed this program and then I will only have my state boards to take to be a LPTA. That will be a very happy day for me. I am writing this to motivate myself to attack the pile of notes stacked on my hotel bed that seem to just be staring at me, waiting for their turn for review.
 I miss my family when I come down here but this time has been different. I'm enjoying my time away as I am able to have some nice quiet study time all to myself. I wouldn't want to live like this - wake up, go to work/school/ whatever for 10-12 hours, come home, go to bed, do it all over again... but it has been a nice break from the vicious 2 year old I left behind. :)
She isn't nasty all the time, we have great moments, but I haven't had one fight in the few days I have been here... Can't say that has happened for a long time. I wake up and don't feel as though the invisible announcer will say "and in this corner we have at 2 feet 8 inches, full of brute strength and endless energy MADISON, and in that corner we have...........mom." Ha ha ha... Alas the break will make me miss those rounds we go.... At least I assume by the end of this I will miss them? Maybe not... but I will at least miss being a mom at home.
I miss my hubby too... It is hard to be away from the one that you choose to be around all the time, and I don't get in the boxing ring with him... so there isn't a whole lot that makes me feel like I need a break from him... He does a great job of supporting me in my endeavors, and I feel very fortunate to have him. He is a very good man.

Well this is officially longer than it should be as I have lots and lots of information to review, but it has been nice to remind myself and document these things. I have said some things that may put a damper on your vision of our little spitfire... But the more I read the more I understand she is just "intense" There is no other way to describe it, but she is intense... However even though the intense madness can be overwhelming and so difficult, it also means she is an intense love bug too. She gives intense hugs, and can be the best intense friend you have ever had. So in all the madness there are those bright shining stars that make it all worth it. At least that is what those parenting books keep telling me, oh yes and those people whose little children are no longer little and have all grown up. So I will try to remember that and enjoy the journey, because I believe that is why we are here. To have joy!


Disclaimer - I said I will try to remember..... that doesn't mean it will always happen.... :)